I realize it has been a while but I have decided to do this again. However, I have decided not to pressure myself into doing it every day. Well, this seemed to be my problem before. I felt if I couldn’t do it every day, then I needed to stop. However, Ataxia isn’t that way. Some days aren’t the greatest and you have to just go with it.
The word I’ve chosen for today is ‘prelapsarian’ which refers to the quality of innocence and being carefree.
In the picture above, I was 11 years old. My younger brother and I are sitting at the beach with my Mom. I showed no signs of Ataxia at that time and was simply a kid in a prelapsarian state. At that time I didn’t know that my Mom was seriously ill and would be gone in less than 2 years. I didn’t know that I would find it difficult to walk on that same beach in 24 years.
I believe that was a good attitude to have. We can’t focus or what we may lose in the future. In my opinion, we need to enjoy the life we have at the moment. We need to be optimistic that there will be a tomorrow but not foolhardy. Some preparations are required. I believe there is a distinction between foolhardy and optimistic. And somewhere in there is happiness and that’s where I want to be.